Not in Konoha Anymore
by Scribbler
Summary: The countryside wasn't so different, he was just sure his home had never before contained a sugar pink mansion or a waterfall of rainbow water with small horsy things in it. Or so many sparkles. Short and cracky crossover between Naruto and My Little Pony


**Disclaimer: **Woe be to the one who thinks I am connected to Hasbro or Kishimoto in any way but a fannish one.

**A/N: **Crack crossover requested by Christa Winters, who asked for Naruto/My Little Pony and the line "I'm so not in Konoha anymore." Not intended to make much sense or be treated very seriously, though reviews are appreciated.

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_**Not in Konoha Anymore**_

© Scribbler, December 2007.

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"I'm so not in Konoha anymore." Naruto rubbed thoughtfully at the back his neck and nodded at the truth of this statement. "Not even close."

It wasn't that the countryside itself was so different – lush green meadows, a forest not too far distant, blue skies, trees, bushes, yadda yadda yadda – he was just sure his home had never before contained a sugar-pink mansion or a waterfall of rainbow water with small horsy things in it. Or so many sparkles.

Naruto gathered himself together. Fine. Take stock first. Sakura would smack him and tell him to think things through logically before punching anything or anyone – possibly before doing the punching herself – but she'd been left behind when the enemy nin hit them with … whatever magic was in that scroll. She'd still smack him if he didn't do things by the book, though, so he paused and marshalled his thoughts towards figuring out where he was and what was going on.

He peered at the horsy creatures. He was used to spirit animals, so he didn't panic and run around like a gibbering idiot, but these were different than anything he'd ever seen before. They looked like a strange blend of two or more beasts. More than one was the colour of Sakura's hair, and the rest were equally pastel. They didn't make him feel afraid, just … curious. And slightly discomfited. What sort of place could sustain such creatures? No way were those fins large enough to get forward motion in the water, and those curly tails would be useless for swimming. They should be sinking and drowning; instead they were splashing about, laughing cheerfully, apparently not having noticed his sudden arrival.

Could he be in the land of the spirit animals, where they lived when they hadn't been summoned? Possibly. Maybe one of those horsy things knew where he could find Frog Boss. An ally would be useful right about now.

Something tugged on the back of his pants leg. He turned to find a miniature horse with a spike growing out of its forehead. Its hide was an ugly dark green and it stared blankly at him with jewels where its eyes should've been. It was just about the weirdest animal he'd ever seen – and he'd ridden bareback on a giant slug.

"Uh…"

"Hi there."

"Oh, great, you talk. That makes things easier."

"Are you one of Megan's friends?"

"Megan? What kind of weird name is that?"

"I think it's a real pretty name. Mine's Fizzy. What's your name?"

"I'm, uh, Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki."

The horse giggled. "That's a funny name. Nah-roo-tow." It turned the word over like a shiny pebble. "Oo-zoo-mah-kee." Naruto was reminded of little kids in the Academy playground the day they started school and hadn't yet learned they were part of the adult world now. "Are you a magician, Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Just call me Naruto. Why do you think I'm a magician?"

"Because you appeared from out of nowhere in a puff of smoke. It was very glittery. I like glitter." It smiled. The effect was both unsettling and charming. For all that it was an ugly little beast, Naruto couldn't help liking its unconcealed, innocent sincerity. It kind of reminded him of Hinata in that respect. "You winked in just like a unicorn, only you're not a unicorn, so I thought maybe you're a magician."

"Winked … in?"

"Sure. Like this." It glowed for a second and vanished.

Naruto fell immediately into a combat stance, repositioning the weight over the balls of his feet and dropping his posture so he could form his hands into Rasengan at a moment's notice. His eyes slid sideways, but the chime of the horse's reappearance came from behind him. He whirled and pinned it to the ground before it could stab him with its forehead-spike. If there was one thing he'd learned during his career as a ninja, it was that cute meant nothing and anything could kill you – _especially_ if it was polite and had manners.

"What are you doing? Naruto Uzumaki!" The thing's jewel-eyes went wide with fright. It lay on its back, all four hooves in the air and its nose in his face. "You're scaring me!" It made no move to fight back – apparently didn't know how – just gazed up at him like … well, like an animal in a trap.

Naruto let go and pocketed the kunai he'd been holding to its throat. The horse stayed where it was, chest going in and out so rapidly he worried it might be having a heart attack.

"Sorry, force of habit."

"H-habit?"

"Yeah. You okay?"

"I-I…" Slowly it rolled over onto his feet and levered itself upright, never tearing its gaze away from him. "It's not nice to … to _attack_ people like that when they haven't done anything to you. That was really mean." To his shock and dismay there was water gathering under its jewels. It was crying? A horse that could cry?

"Are you a spirit animal?"

"What?" it replied, confused. "I told you, I'm Fizzy. I'm a unicorn – a Little Pony – and this is P-Ponyland, where all the Little Ponies live. You're a visitor here, a-and I think you sh-should apologise for being so _rude_ when you're our guest."

Little Pony? Ponyland? _Unicorn_?

Naruto wrapped his elbows around his head and looked at the sky. Still blue. Still normal. "I'm _so_ not in Konoha anymore."

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_**Fin**_

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End file.
